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couldnt jerk off this morning ...no matter how hard I tried

I tried everything. Lotion. In hotel bed. drunk and hungover again. alone again. No underwear. fantasies about old ex girlfriend from 2003-2005, its been so long since ive been inside a young girl, so long, im so lonely, I wanted her and could stop obsessing about her, she was so short, I was thinking about her sexy high heels giving her blisters, about hiding her birth control, about her teen pregnancy when I was 24. trying not to think about her abortion

I couldn’t shoot my load. Even in the shower. Even when I was covered in soap and lotion.

I took amphetamines and tried jerking off furiously for 3 hours straight

I cried

Married and i often fantasize about another man. i dont feel much of a connection with my hisband anymore so the thought of this other man drives me crazy. The bad thing is that he is married with children too.

Serious question, although I know the trolls won't be able to help themselves, this is for a paper I plan to write for my sociology course.

If you have ever performed analingus (a.k.a. rimming) on your partner, did/ do you genuinely enjoy it?

I understand that there are always things that we will occasionally do for our partners because it brings THEM pleasure, but I am trying to determin whether or not a significant number of people perforn this act for their own pleasure.

I myself truly enjoy doing it. As long as my girlfriend is fresh out of the shower, I honestly love burying my face deep between her ass cheeks, and then sucking and licking directly on her hole. I will even penetrate her with my tongue, and obtain satisfaction from hearing her moans and feeling her press herself harder against my face to that I can get even deeper.

So naturally, as I'm learning more and more about the human psyche, I am curious to know if I'm an anomaly in regards to such behavior.

Honest answers would be appreciated.

Even now that I am out of college and self supporting and in a professional job I have pen** envy. I know it is stupid, why should I care if I don't have a pen**? But the truth is that everytime I wipe I am reminded that I don't have a pen**. I get urges to mount, strong urges that don't go away that easy. It may be some waitress, or some girl on the bus, or this girl that works on 16. I feel like I have a pen** that is growing and is hard and I can mount her. My therapist calls it a phantom pen** syndrome. My best friend says that I am just horny for her and instead of moping about go and ask her out.

Is it Ok if I go over to my ex girlfriends apartment when she’s not there and her roommates are all gone at work? Nobody knows

She forgot I still have a key. She says she never wants to see me again but I just like her smell. I like feeling her clothes and shoes. I like the way her shoes feel on my pen**. Ok ok, I may have jerked off in her shoes a little, mostly hernhigh heels but also her Sperrys and keds and ankle boots and uggs and Nikes so ok I have “visited” a few times over Christmas break while she was out of town and ok ok ok yeah I did kinda steal all Her socks and underwear but I did donate them to Salvation Army and I did pay her for it because I did leave her some extra bottles of alcohol I hid for her and a carton of cigarettes, I put under her pillow even though I know her New Years resolutions were to try to quit smoking and quit drinking - I know she needs them and I don’t want her to be without.

I also left her coupons to Applebys because she knows it’s my favorite place

Does Trumps low approval have anything to do with the sexy young Asian business woman in a tight white dress and high heels without pantyhose despite the freezing winter cold and threat of snow who just interrupted my zen lunch at a hole in the wall lunch spot?

Why is my shit changing colors? Sometimes it’s grey and lumpy? Sometimes is red and smooth? Sometimes it’s dark brown and sticky? Sometimes it’s light brown and stringy? Like it was pressed through a cheese grater. Sometimes it’s tan and chunky, like a soup. Iveruined so many pairs of underwear I’m running out. I had to not even wear any yesterday or this morning because I couldn’t find any. I feel so embarrassed not having any underwear. What if they see me? What if everyone knows? But I’m more worried about my shit

I hope I get the opportunity to sodomize a man with a big black dong for breaking into my house someday. And I hope I can beat him with that big black dong first. I also want a pet possum with the name Rat Bastard for a guard possum to watch over my house just in case anybody tries to break in. Because a lot of people fear possums and I'm pretty sure they'll run away in sure terror. I would trade my pet possum to attack people.

I can’t stop picking my nose! I love it! I purposely keep the air dry in my house so I can clean out the nostrils as much as possible. The feeling of digging in and breaking free dried snot from the nasal wall is spectacular! I’d rank it ahead of sex but behind defecation.

Nosepick!

Coc**man!

Comment motherfuc*ers!

Okay so my new years goal was to see how long i can go without masterbating. Seems easy enough right? Well it’s the 5th day of the year and no I haven’t yet but it’s getting really hard. I feel like I’m being tested. Theres these two guys...both are flirty as hell and both are horny af and rub off on me. Like one of them told me that he wants to fuc* me senseless and the other is just...damn.

Salt, muthafuc*a!

Abort!

I’m so bored lately. Nothing much is going on.

Might be time to get pregnant again so I can have another abortion.

I'm going to see her tomorrow night. I've wanted to be with her since I met her when I was 18. But one or both of us were always involved with someone else. I loved everything about her. Still do. I always wanted to be where she was. She just lights me up. Back then she would sit on my lap and put her arm around me. She didn't have a big brother so I took on that role for her. I was her counselor and her protector. Now we are in our 50's but she is still amazing. It's been almost a year since I saw her and that last time she was touching me the whole night. It was the first time she ever told me that she loved me. She told me that she knows if anything happened to her husband that I would be there for her. I sarcastically asked her if she was planning something. She laughed. We are both married now and her husband is a really good guy who I have known for a long time. They have kids and grand kids. Even after all these years my insides still get twisted up like a pretzel when I'm around her. She is the most amazing woman I have ever known. I love my wife but if my old crush ever propositioned me I wouldn't be able to say no, so it's good that I only see her about once a year. I told my wife about my crush and she asked me if I still had it. I lied and said no. It would serve no purpose for her to know. But I don't think it will ever go away.

Jerking it to Dr. Mrs The Monarch/ Dr. Girlfriend again...like I have been for the last 14 years

I'm honestly so tired of being a virgin. I don't want to wait anymore but there is no one for me choose to loose it to. I dont even want all the romantic bs. I just want to fuc*

Where can I find a woman that will let me get her pregnant ?

I know I am fat and ugly and bad with women ...But I really would like to be a father and be there for the child... but if the mother would rather her raise the child alone I would still pay child support and pay for college and see them any chance I could be allowed to be a good father

I have a good job. Not a great job, but an honest paying government job... although with the federal shutdown I don’t know when I’ll ever get paid again. But I have some money saved up for now

Where can I find a young woman who wants to get pregnant with a decent man in his late thirties who is a Virgin still, sadly, and hasn’t had a date with a woman - any woman - in some 14 years now. Not since 2005. That was the last time a woman agreed to go on a date with me

Please I need to do this

Married but when my husband and I have sex my mind sometimes wonders... i imagine he is someone else.