steph- i love you. i have for twenty years. we first met in 6th grade. i was friends with your brother. i never had the nerve to tell you but i am saying it here even though you will probably never see this. i wanted you to be my first everything... first kiss, first girlfriend... i never had the nerve to ask you out.
oh i made a few half baked attempts (over the phone, via letter) but not an actual face to face conversation. the closest i ever came was years later as adults when i found out you moved down the street from me and i sent you roses and started calling you, but then i abruptly stopped. i am sorry about that. i chickened out because i thought that when it came time to talk to you face to face it would be just like back in school - my heart would pound, my knees would shake and i would be a terrified little kid all over again.
that might have happened but i regret not ever knocking on your door and finding out. there is not a day that goes by where i don’t think about you. you have children now and are married. i wish it was me instead of him. you are proof to me that love at first sight does exist.
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