I'm completley in love with my ex. Ive never felt love like this and i dont know how to stop lovimg him. I know deep down that at least for a long time i wont be ready for someone else and i just want to say my story hoping it makes me feel better. We broke up about a month ago, it was random unexpected and he told me he didnt see me the same way anymore and that hed been feeling really shit and he needed to go through it on his own and that killed me because i knew he was lying to be to protect my feelings its why he does bad things hes so scared of hurting me that he acctually does. To top it off that weekend hed cuddled with another girl and now they are getting together. But i know shes not a good person and im so so scared shell hurt him and i think that he knew hed fuc*** up and so he did what he does he doesnt think and jumps into things until it hits him and i may be wrong but i just think that he didnt want it all to be for nothing and he knew hed hurt me and he didnt want to keep doing it. But i know how much he cared, i think he still does i watch him watch me and i know that hes trying not to make everything worse he told me he never wants to make me sad or angry and he is an idiot because hes doing the opposite. i know that he needs to grow i know this is why i told him i was fine with him getting with her, im not at all but i know that i was a lot and at times i really worried him and he deserves something easier and i think i grew up faster and hes just not ready yet. All of my friends just dont understand they tell me to find someone new but theyll never be him and i know that it wouldnt be fair to have someone new when deep down id always be waiting for him. He has no idea that this is how i feel i told him i was moving past him because i wanted him to be happy but its so hard i want to ring him just to hear his voice. He wasnt just a boyfriend he was my bestfriend and i just want to talk to him about stuff but i cant let him know the bad stuff in my life because i care about him too much i dont want him ever to have to worry. I just dont know what to do anymore half of me wants to forget him but i also dont ever want to forget all the good he did for me. Another part of me wants to tell him how i feel but i dont want him to feel guilty or sad about it. I just want him to be happpy beyond everything but i also sometimes really need him and its just so sad and i dont know how to deal with any of it.
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