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it's so frustrating that as i continue to uphold values and morals, i struggle so badly finding love, aside for the love that i already have for myself and god. i'm looked at like a loser for being a "good-girl" type of woman, but that is who i am and i refuse to compromise myself to please anyone. while upholding my values though, it's just increasingly frustrating and at times even very depressing because it seems like i will never have the man that god has for me, wherever he may be out there in the world. as i get older, i start to wonder, aside from my love for myself and god, if i will ever share true companion-type romantic love on this earth in this physical life. the pain just grows deeper and deeper.

I tried to kill myself in the 5th grade. I left school in 8th grade due to panic attacks, anxitey, and suicidal tendensies. I do not have even an 8th grade education. After losing my virginity at 12 years old, I lied constantly about my age and dated older guys. I knew lots of people, bad and good, and developed a cocaine addiction when i was 14. When I was 15 I met a boy who was 18 and we dated for a year and 4 months. He was extremely abusive and manipulated me into losing all of my friends and (knowing I had an eating disorder) forced me to eat pizza and food from his work until I became overweight. This destroyed me. He cheated on me two weeks after my dad passed away in a motorcyle collision and broke up with me over the phone in march of 2017. I didnt know a heart could hurt so bad. I’m now 17. I am sober, trying to better myself, but I am completely isolated and alone. My friends don’t talk to me anymore. I have bad social kills and paranoia. i feel like everyones out to get me and i have nothing left to hold onto, and i have no reason to. I suffer, I really do. With constalty being alone and unwanted. I’m only around to be bubbly and help others but being nice isnt enough when youre broken and everyone sees it. Nobody wants that in a friend. Of course people would be hurt if i died but everyone sees it coming, they expect it, and sometimes i wonder if theyre confused on why i havent done it yet. Im trying my hardest to be a good person and stay on the right track. the love has been sucked out of me by every boy or old friend thats used me. People genuinely hate me and to this day I do not know why. One bad thing after another but i could still have it worse. i know this and im grateful for what i have day by day. it still doesnt stop the feelings that i dont deserve it. nothing feels real. i want to disappear. i dont belong anywhere nor am i welcome. im stuck between the sweet release of death and scrambling to find the first step in recovery. mental health? finishing highschool? i cant think of a time in my life in which i havent thought, fantazised, wanted to, or planned to end my own life. STILL I’ve been so fuc*** determined to help myself and always have been dispite having no support system besides my father, who like i said is no longer with us. I may just end up joining him someday soon.

wth? lol

Some people have too much time. They need to get lives.

The Military was the only route I had. I leave in 4 days, and I just now figure out that I can't do enough push-ups/sit-ups and that if you can't reach the standard, you get sent back. I'm still going to try, but just in case if it fails, I'm preparing my demise. Cause I have nowhere else to go.

i need another bj

Is it just me or is it weird that the guys are holding each other too closely and even weirder that the girl doesnt have her hands around any of them?

Marco Rubio was the best Republican candidate. God damn Russians got us good!

day drinking again today started before noon

they took my girl from me I have nothing

there is no reason to not be drunk

Should I give a mercy fuc* to my coworker? She is an introvert and lives at home with her folks. I'm 44 and married. She's a few years younger. She's not hot by any means but I bet the sex would be amazing. She's always staring at me.

The thought of incest never turned me on.
But the fantasy of you being my brother and having an argument turn into something more is one of my favorite things to masterbate to.
I wish I could tell you this. But I shouldn't even be thinking about you.

I love squirting my own nutjuice into my mouth. It feels and tastes awesome.

my name is dan bry** and i like to rape lesbian girls because i have mental issues preventing me from accepting im attracted to certain women, stalk them, bully them. constantly talk about rape and incest and live with my parents when im almost 40. i also dont drive but that wont matter once im in jail. i started stalking and attacking this girl because she got a promotion over me. we both worked minimum wage jobs in retail and she started earning a couple of dollars more than me per hour. in my mind my actions are totally justified. gay pride :rainbow::rainbow::rainbow:

I need to be honest to myself, I'm a lesbian. I can't hide it anymore.

no condoms

Do you think this guy likes me

has a nickname for me
sits in front of me when its not his assigned seat
gives me an earbud so we can watch netflix together
sees hello to me every day
asked for my snapchat
occasion looks at me across the room

Im a 28 yr old female, when i hit puberty and my breasts started growing out i was really unhappy and in denial about it. These days im thinking I would be a lot happier living life as a man, but i still live at home with my mother and sisters and i dont think i have the guts to act ob those feelings while I'm still living here. Theyre always ranting and shit talking about gay/trans people and I don't want to get kicked out of the house b/c I don't have a secure enough job.

I'm not wearing underwear. It's one of those days.

i stuck my dic* somewhere I shouldnt have and now its stuck

it really hurts - what do i do?

if i have to listen to you bitch about "not enough ciggarette breaks" at work one more time, i think i might fucking lose my goddamn mind. seriously? you get three breaks to smoke in an eight hour shift. one of which is half an hour long. do you really expect any place of work to allow you to chainsmoke all night? jesus fuck, get a nicotine patch.