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I want another child so badly it hurts. My husband is fixed and doesn't want anymore. But he is always jokes around about me being pregnant and doesn't seem to care how shitty it makes me feel.

I feel very depressed and worried about the future. I want to find my place and people in this world and I still have not found the right ones. I just want the lies and bs to stop.

I am tired of being the one in my family that sits at the bedside of the dying. I am the only one willing to be in the room. No one should die alone and afraid in a hospital, but when I got a call this morning to come sit with my dying aunt, I just wanted to hide under my bed. I’m almost 45, and this will be the 5th family member in five years whose hand I held while they passed away. I love them and I want them to be at peace and unafraid, but I’m alone and I’m tired.

i got drunk with my girlfriend last night and she talked me into smoking pot. im not a big drinker and im not into drugs, mostly because im underage. we had sex for the first time in the back of her car and i was so cross faded that i barely remember any of it. i regret it because i know i wasnt ready. i want to tell someone but im still in the closet and im not ready to tell anyone about her

my anxiety is so bad. i wish i felt purposeful but most times i feel like a waste of space. my doctor never calls me back and i am meds but they arent working. and when i try to talk to my husband about how i mentally feel, he seems bored. im alone.

I hoped maybe, just maybe last week she would reach out and say "happy birthday"...but no.

I'm plucking my asscrack hair again.

ive never felt completely comfortable in my body. i dont think im trans because i have no desire to transition to the opposite sex. i just dont feel like.. what i am. not exactly. if i could describe it in any way id have to say a mix of genders would be the closest description. or maybe just a 'nothing' gender. i know my parents wouldnt understand. theyve always told me 'we werent cruel to you, you turned out alright' but i still have vivid memories of my mother telling me she didnt want my gay friends to 'turn me gay'. 'they cant come over anymore, theyll turn you gay.' and my father tearing my room apart for 'drugs' and going through and reading my personal letters to my friends while i screamed and cried because i didnt have anything. i cant tell them i doubt what i am. i cant tell them that i like both guys and girls. they know i have severe depression and anxiety and have imagined my own death countless times. my own mother came to see me when i was sent to a ward after almost overdosing on narcotics. and yet they think i came out ok. i didnt turn out 'gay' in their eyes so im good. i love my parents and will take care of them when theyre old but shit. i wish they were different people. im just so fed up with hving to wear a mask around them. with having to hide who i am. and if i admit anything i know ill either be scoffed at because i have a family now. im 26 and my feelings about it havent changed since i was 17. they wonder why i never talk to them anymore, why i only see them on the weekends when i have to. they wonder why i always isolate myself and cry weekly. i wish they could see the real me

Nothing like getting good news, only to come home and have the day totally ruined, and the evening pathetic...

I lost an AK-47 type rifle when I was dating my ex

shes really really mean and vengeful... should my current gf be worried?

“what are you up to?”
putting on a brave face for my boyfriend, family, and friends because i know that they should never be burdened with everything happening just behind the “dark and mysterious” eyes my boyfriend says he loves so much.
Sitting in my bed with the lights off rocking back and forth and shivering because i havent actually eaten in two days thanks to the eating disorder im trying so hard to get rid of.
Jumping at the slightest movement around me because schizophrenia makes it so hard to understand whether somethings truly coming for me or if its really all in my head.
Doing my best to sit still in spite of my Tourette’s subconsciously urging me to move in jerky and sometimes painful ways.
Doing whatever i can to cause myself pain without a blade because its the only way to distract myself from everything above.
but you dont care about all that do you?
Im just chilling, what are you up to?

So I have a pretty fair life, i have a roof over my head, food available at most times, a couple good friends, and the best boyfriend in the world, but i have a secret i can never tell anyone that i know or that knows me. i identify as non-binary, and ive found that in my town and in my school that things as basic as being gay and being trans are already heavily discriminated against and ive seen the under those labels be bullied and hurt and hated, and im so incredibly scared that if anyone knows that im not only pansexual, but also non-binary, that my friends might leave me, and that my boyfriend might stop loving me. i dont know what to do and i cry nearly every night over this because i want to tell somebody, anybody, so badly but i know thats too risky and that its something i can never do. so instead every day i try to cope with how uncomfortable being called a girl and hearing myself refereed to as “she” makes me because its simply safer than fighting to be myself.

To the faculty of my old grade schools...

I haven't the slightest clue as to what your fuc*** problems were, but I feel that they were unjustly and disproportionately taken out on me. Granted, I understand I could've been better behaved back then, but if you had any inkling as to what I and my family were going through back then, or what effect your alleged "discipline" would've had on me, or even the signs and symptoms of what has been ailing me since age five, you would have demonstrated a little more respect than you fuc*** gave me.

Ever since those days, I have found myself growing old - not necessarily up - in an increasingly broken world. Now, I claw at any glimmer of hope I can find, hoping I don't break completely and become the great destroyer I feared I would become ever since I enrolled in college. For your sake and mine, you had better pray for penance. I don't give a fuc* if you don't believe in a higher power; your sins will not go unjudged unless you acknowledge them and offer suitable recompense. In spite of the seemingly injurious language I have utilized here, punishing you is the last thing I have any desire to do, and I feel improperly qualified to do so. Ergo, I leave it to the guardians of Truth, Justice and Liberty to decide your ultimate fate.

There is still time to save yourselves, and I highly recommend you do so.

I got brutally ghosted. A girl I'd known for about a year with whom I thought I'd built a stable, strong relationship (important note: we weren't a couple, I didn't know if she liked me back, but I was wildly in love with her) had sort of become my best friend and closest person, I told her everything and shared everything with her, we texted every single day... I don't know if I had become too clingy, I don't know if I was as close to her as she was to me, but after a certain period of her growing gradually colder, she suddenly blocked me on all social media, I couldn't contact her in any possible way so I decided to ask her best friend what was going on. After a while her friend told me what she had said: I had invaded her personal space too much and she needed her distance. So I sought her out to talk to her and waited for her to catch her alone, and begged her to talk, but she simply said "no, sorry" and walked away. I feel awful now, because I have great difficulty building strong relationships and friendships being the introvert I am, I had put all my trust in her and thought she did too...what do I do? Please help :disappointed:

sometimes i imagine bad things happening to me. i vividly imagine being hit and killed while driving, someone picking me up while walking, a doctor telling me i have cancer and its not curable. a lot of the time i have intrusive thoughts about taking my own life. a part of me wishes that something would just happen. and the other part is scared sh*tless at the idea of dying. im an artist and a parent, and i try to be a good person and kind, but all the time theres people spewing hate and the world is so messed up and the people in it either want you to die or hate you. the only time i have ever made anyone else happy is when ive bent over backwards for them, run myself ragged to make sure that they are. no one makes sure im ok too. no one is asking the important questions. everyone is selfish including me. what is the point of even being alive anymore. i wish i had the guts to make my intrusive thoughts reality, but in the end im weak and am only here to serve others until i die

lol im popping the pill...

i don't have a story. i am useless guy.

ive been feeling really depressed lately ive completley lost myself and have been trying to find myself again but have just fallen further from it i feel so lonely even though i have people around me i just feel nobody cares ive tried to deal with everything and i cant im in a weird stage that has gone on longer than i thought it would

now i can see why he wont date me because im not white, tall, fearless, 20+, and there is so much more it hurts

I just started a taking classes to start a new career. In my previous job, I made six figures, but I travelled a lot and hated that life just passed me by. Friends moved on, romantic relationships didn't stand a chance, family became distant. I'm a workaholic, I know. But I don't want that life anymore. I'm trying to restructure my life now, but every morning, I wake up with the utmost sense of fear of failure. It's dibilatating. But you know what, f&*$ you anxiety.