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When holidays are near, bad stuff always happen to me as if God wants me to suffer. Life is full of traps.

I feel awful, I’ve been bullied my whole life and honestly I want to die, but I’m only diagnosed with anxiety. Every time someone talks about how they have such a hard life or hear of kids that got help from celebrities or just someone/something that stopped the bulling I just think ‘What’s so special about them, they don’t deserve that, it’s not that bad’. I’m sorry.

I love all of you and hate all of me.

I can't tell you how much I've had it with my low-paying, dead-end job. Even after I thought I was cured of violent impulses, I've had the urge to shoot up or burn down my place of employment. On the other hand, there are some genuinely good people there, and I'd hate to ruin their lives due to my own selfish actions. Still, I don't know how much more of this fuc***' shit I can take...

When I was a 13 year old boy, I was raped by a burglar in my own bedroom. I've never been able to deal with the shame that my first sexual experience was having another man ejaculate inside me.

the russians are coming for me

if i go missing you know what happened

tells TWB I love her

i fuc*** hate TWB. She's pretty AND nice and i fuc*** hate her for it.

TWB, can you help me? I need a drink very very badly.

sobreity fuc*** sucks. Im 67 hours in without a drink and I fuc*** hate everything. Id rather go back to being an alcoholic like ive been the past ten years or so. Give me one good reason why I shouldnt go get drunk

I'm plainly pathetic. Today I was going to mom's when an ugly girl I know asked me if I wanted to visit her. I said ok and told my mom I was going tomorrow. I planned to fuc* the girl without a condom. When I saw her I was doubtful but after some talk I decided to act and started to stroke her thigh. She told me she didn't feel like that. Ok, I went to see a hooker, paid and then I didn't feel like that. She was ugly too. As I was far from home and coudn't go to my mother's I ended up sleeping in my car.

Life is full of traps and pitfalls for me. Every day, bad shit always happen when I got something good.

i did something today i haven't done in so long. i felt so relieved. but now the pain is back. and i don't know what's happening or what to do.

Sometimes i fantasize the people i hate getting brutally fuc***.

Shit fuc*** fail at every plan I have with the house. Shit is always delayed, and things are not going as planned.

I have diabetes and one of the many downsides of my condition is the painful itching I sometimes experience in my groin area which from what I've recently learned is quite common among diabetics.

Last week while off of my program I binged on excessive amounts of carbs and chocolate I believe this led to a really bad itching attack in my groin area while standing in front of my glass sliding door and without thinking or realizing where I was, I scratched myself for relief and I believe one of my neighbors saw me. To make things worst I live in a condo site.

All I knew in the moment of my itching attack was I needed relief. Everything else around me stopped existing and I couldn't control myself and scratched myself vigorously until I realized where I was and what I was doing and then where I was again. It was almost like I lost moments in time and now I feel sick from this episode.

I recently saw my next door neighbor and she gave me a look of great disgust like I was a vile pervert and I know that is not the case, but I can't help but feel this great shame and self hatred and I've been depressed ever since. I told my wife what happened but her attitude was shockingly apathetic as she declared that she doesn't give a damn what our neighbors think and she doesn't seem to realize that her perspective on this makes me feel worse.

Unlike my wife, I care about what people think about me. My mind is obviously deteriorating which I suspect is partially due to the medication I’ve been prescribed and my wife doesn’t seem to grasp that I may have caused another person psychological harm, yet she wants me to seek psychological help?

Something is seriously wrong with my condition, It’s obviously out of control and my mind which I depend on is broken and there's possibly nothing I can do about it.

I'm extremely devastated by what I unintentionally done and certainly sickened by the thought of my hurting a member of my community through my uncontrollable actions.

All of this is a result of my addiction to sugar and going off of my program. I'm a diabetic and now I’m allowing my illness to harm other people. I'm feeling deeply miserable because I fear I could do other embarrassing crazy things without realizing it.

I wish I could explain what happened to my neighbor face to face but I can’t find the strength to do so. How do you explain that to someone who doesn’t really know you beyond a few hellos and now a traumatizing accident?

Where did my mind go?

What is happening to me?

I’m depressed…

im terrified of myself

the only thing keeping me from killing myself is to prove to my parents that i am not a failure. then again, killing myself would prove i dont give a f*ck what they think. i am 52 years old and my partner is sleeping next to me as i type this...never have i felt more alone...

i fantasize how i would do it...im more concerned about my dog finding me than my partner. the thought of breaking my dog's heart is keeping me here...and this torments me.

I left my fwb waiting outside my house just because I'm too afraid to sneak out and see him. I ignored his calls and his texts to sneak out. Now I'm sitting in bed, waiting for him to leave, thinking I'm asleep. Note: I live with my parents and other family members. Its nearly impossible to sneak out undetected.

I was told the percentage of me having a child was next to none. My partner and I knew that. We didn't think anything of it. A month ago I found out I was pregnant. I had been drinking to excess and knew that a child would not be right at this time. I scheduled my abortion for a week and a half away. Being a drinker, I know what it's like to puke.. But let me tell you, I was not ready for what this pregnancy threw me. I didn't eat for five days and could hardly hold down liquids. Finally, abortion day came. Unfortunately, I was so sick I thought I might need an ambulance to take me to the hospital. I've never felt worse in my life. I was vomiting blood, I was fluctuating body temps like I had a fever ( I didn't) and I thought I might end up dead. Suddenly I started cramping. And then bleeding. Fight or Flight kicked in, I called and uber and 30 minutes later I'm profusely bleeding on a hospital bed on a pee pad I would use for my dog. "What's going on?" says the doctor as I'm miscarrying right in front of her. 45 minutes in and I'm covered in blood. They take me to get a sonogram, I bled drops all down the hallway to the suite. I sat in my own blood and fetal tissue for at least 7 hours. And I came home numb. I showered and went to bed. And here's the thing, that entire thing was very traumatic. It was not supposed to happen this way and it was supposed to be done medically. I had it planned for THAT morning. SO I feel guilty. No, not for making the decision for abortion but for feeling bad that I miscarried in such a dramatic way that I feel the need to talk about it but also that it's incongruent thinking. At this point, I'm not allowed to feel, or at least it feels that way. It does not change my mind about how I feel about abortion being legal; it should ALWAYS be legal and an option for ANY woman who seeks it. But sitting in your miscarried embryo's blood for 8 hours is enough to make you never want to try to have children.

Everyone in my family hates me for no fuc*** reason. No matter how good I do, They all hate me. They are hypocrites. Fuc* them.

i hate the term “baby bump”. I mean really, really hate it.