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I hate psychiatry/psychology.

I don't think I have BPD. I wish I could go back in time and slap those people for giving me meds and therapy. Instead of one of them going: "Look, kid, your parents are toxic ass***s who are keeping you isolated. But once you're 18 you can do whatever you want, so just hold on a little longer and start saving money"

I used to self-harm, but once I moved out away from my parents at 18, I stopped almost immediately.
I don't have any anxieties or panic attacks ever. If anything, I'm actually quite brave and determined.
I'm social and have a large network of semi-friends. I have 2-3 close friends.
I don't have mood swings. No emotional rollercoasters. I do get angry sometimes, but who doesn't.
I don't binge, or do drugs, or fuc* a bunch of people.

...And yet, I think I did have it before. BPD. When I was young. But I'm not sure if it was BPD, or the result of being isolated for many years and mind-fuc***. The only BPD trait I remember clearly having: back then when i'd fall inlove, I'd go mental. I'd get the horrible dred of losing the one I love. Of being left. There was one person who rejected me in a hurtful way, and I totally lost my shit. I'd self harm to get their attention and punish them. I deeply regret all that.

But that whole consuming obsessisive level of love is what I knew to be "love" like for years. Even now, I wonder if what I have today is even "love". \somedays i'm not sure. it feels more like a play-pretend. I hope it is love, but I know if this doesn't work out, I'd be sad for a while, but in the end i'll be ok. It's not crucial, epic, soul-consuming. It's more of a roommate situation with sexy times I have to instigate, sometimes.

I wonder if others feel like that. Like you've had that one opportunity to really love someone, and you wasted it. And you've moved on, and you're ok now. But "ok" looks grey in comparison with the intensity of emotion you once felt.

Does comfortable, uneventful daily existence feel as vacuous to others as it does to me? Is it because i don't have or plan kids? is it because i feel no connection to my parents or have very specific hobbies I can't share with many people?

what am i doing wrong?

And secretly, you'd love to feel like that again.

When I was about 4 my uncle sexually molested me (male) and my older brother who was 6 at the time. It happened 2 or 3 times. He would put his hands down our pants and play with our things while masturbating himself. One time he took my brother into a bedroom at his place and closed the door. I do not know what he did because my brother never told me. Then, when I was about 14, I had oral sex with my brother. We did it a few times and my brother ejaculated in my mouth. Nothing happened again until I was in my 20's and engaged to my future wife. I went over to a friend's house one night and we got drunk. Then my friend told me he was bi and had been with a few men before. We ended up sleeping together and having unprotected oral and anal sex. Since then I have been with 12 or more guys for oral sex. I am still married to my wife and have 3 kids. No one knows I am bi because I am very much in the closet. I guess I am pretty messed up in the head, but I do enjoy giving and receiving head.

I exposed myself to a little girl many years ago. Not just exposed, but actually masturbated in front of her until orgasm. I am deeply ashamed even though it happened 30 years ago. I was into booze and drugs back then. Not an excuse, but I was messed up.

I want to get out of my fascist low income housing apartment. Because I'm sick of this coc*roach Haven and bed bug Haven of an apartment. I'm sick of the slumlord that runs this place. I'm sick of the retarded drunk Neighbors who get in fights every night. I hate having to share a floor with people who are way too loud and disrespectful and rude. I hate how unhygienic and gross Neighbors are. My neighbor smell like Pigs straight out of a slaughterhouse and it's no excuse just because they're fat that they can't just simply bathe and take a shower. They're just lazy and refusing to take a shower on the daily regular. My neighbor's smell like they go for years without bathing. I'm also fed up with how this place makes me feel like I'm trapped and like there's way too many rules here. The rules become more ridiculous by the minute and I'm sick of it. People don't like to keep to themselves and they make up stupid rumors. I believe this place should be completely condemned or demolished because what the heinous coc*roach infestation. if you live in Fremont Nebraska or have plans to move to Fremont Nebraska don't move into the Gifford Towers I'm just warning you it's not worth it.

Greg Mottishaw raped a 13 year old native girl in Sechelt, BC. This was years ago, but I witnesssed the entire horrendous thing and was too scared to tell anyone.

A married guy I was seeing secretly videotaped me in his car using my mouth on him. It is only a five second video. He told me he had more but when I asked him to send the videos to me he denied he had any. I know he was lying. Should I send video to his wife? He's had about 5 affairs and she has no clue. I recently ended it with him.

I’m tired of the soft beta male milennials I work with. They are humorless and tissue-sensitive, publishing their stupid emo Instagram posts. I despise right-wing fearmongering tactics, but there is something to the concern that these millenial pus*** are pushovers. They will kneel before ISIS, nazis, Russia, or whoever the enemy is!

Things got out of hand the other night. My parents were away for the weekend and I started drinking around 2 in the afternoon. By 8 I was cooking meth. The last thing I remember was dancing to ICP. I woke up the next morning face down naked on the floor. My ass burned. Next to me was a bowling pin and the tip was covered in blood and excrement. The playlist was now playing “Smooth Operator” by Sade.

I hate my boss. So I purchased a large pink dildo and smeared the tip in dried chocolate. Then I broke into his car and placed said item in his glove box. Hopefully his wife or kids have to open that glove box at some point!

I'm feelling guilty after watching porn last night. I used to attend 12 step groups for this issue. It helped me but I was ashamed of the lable "sex addict" so I stopped going. Deep down I didn't want to give it up completely so I've learned to manage it and call that recovery but sometimes I over endulge and have a binge episode. This is a shame spiral because I'm ashamed that I have this issue. I grew up in an ultra conservatie home and sex was the most shameful of topics. Now, I feel like a fraud because I know I have this issue and I'm hiding it from the world. I'm stuck but I know that holding it in and isolationg only exhasorbates the compulsion so I'm here to confess anonymously. Thanks

I went to a family reunion back in 2017 and my uncle licked my right ear. I believe that's the creepiest thing any of my relatives have ever done. And I felt like my right ear was violated. Is it possible my uncle is a pervert who wants to be incest with me? Because if so I feel traumatized.

I've had sex with 8 different men in the last month and none of them were my husband.

I can't stop thinking about this older lady at work. She always rejects me and makes faces at me. She's elegant and probably married. I'm obsessed with how much she dislikes me.

I just swallowed 9 cocaine-filled condoms and am about to board a plane from Bogota to Miami. Wish me luck!

I lied to people for money.

cumming in mcdonalds food. I work at McDonalds and often will cum in the food. At first on break I was cumming in napkins, then socks when I forgot napkins, then I came in my female coworkers non work shoes and stole her socks, then I started coming in the food. I’m a manager at a very high volume McDonalds in an major American airport.

Been doing this for years. Really.

I'm married. Why am I so drawn to you? Why do I feel like you are my soulmate?

I am tired if seeing how well off my Facebook friends are doing.

Morality check:

Say you've been like brothers with your best friend for over 30 years. You served together, were best man at each other's weddings, and godfather to each other's kids. You were there for him when he went through a really ugly divorce, and then he was there for you when your wife ripped out your heart and walked out on you
.
Then, about a year after your divorce, you find out that he's fuc*** your ex-wife. They both swear that nothing ever happened while you were together, but you don't know if you believe them. Either way, it's a dic* move on his part, right? So you stop speaking to him, wish him dead, and try to move on with your life.

Jump to 5 years later. They're still together and you find out he's dying of kidney failure. You also know that you might be a compatible donor because you have the same blood type.

Part of me still loves the man that was my brother for so long, and through so much, while another part of me feels like I could stare into his eyes, grinning, as he takes his last breath.

I don't know how to get past the hate.

When we were fourteen we tried it. It was in her room and her parents weren't home, she had the idea and after taking all of our clothes off we stood on her bed and looked at ourselves in the mirror on the wall, I got behind her and examined her from behind, and she examined me from behind. Her first kiss was to kiss my butthole, she was very gentle and hot, she let me kiss her butthole, it tasted funny but after a minute it tasted good. We lay back on the bed and kissed our mouths and then put our fingers as deep inside our vaginas as deep as we could go without breaking the kiss. We kiss everyday, sometimes we just lay beside each other and kiss and kiss, her face is so soft, her eyes are blue, her boobs press against mine and we kiss and kiss. We are 29 and we have never kissed a guy. The butthole thing was just that one time, it was a necessary thing, for me to be hers and for her to be mine.