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Pissed off at my husband right now. I dropped a jar of pickles (it was in a plastic container) and pickle juice went everywhere.

Instead of helping me clean it up, he sits on his lazy fat ass playing games.

Yet, when he spills anything, I clean it up. But does he even offer to help, no. He is worthless piece of shit.

I am really shitting at elizza for fuc*** me around over money. it seems to be the new thing companies don't feel the need to send a invoice with payment dates and amounts notices in advance. It adds up to me as $450 plus $650 is $1100 so I owe the slime old slag slut weirdo just another $900 but she sends a bill of $1700 so that just don't add up from 650 and 450 or are we having a fight or will we have a fight over this? she is an entitled bitch and overprices her courses and she better get the act together to help me. cuz I keep thinking she is the bitch who knows how to poached her eggs and I will see her cut down if she back stabs me.

I just went to my 10 year high school reuinion, where I saw my first bf for the first time basically since we graduated. He now has a pretty wife, 2 kids, and seems to be content. But omg, although I'm married now too, I'd love to get between the sheets with him again. He was my first, I was his first, and he was by far the hottest thing I've ever let inside me.

We still have chemistry. The toe-curling type of chemistry. I knew it tonight and I know we'll have it for eternity. I miss him.

I was driving down the country road when out of the side window I saw the horse and his glistening pen** dangling from his center like a fifth leg.

It’s not like me to be impulsive, but I stopped. Taking a deep breath I got out of my car and hopped the fence, heading toward the steed. When I arrived at the great beast, it let out a majestic bellow. “Eeerrrooowahahahahaha”. Lowering my pants, I took position beneath the equine and bent my bare ass upward.

Several hours later I awoke in a hospital room. My intestines burned and my anu* was heavily gauzed. My colon had been ruptured but I was alive. A doctor entered and recommended a psychiatric exam. I declined.

Hahahahahahahahha! Trump’s steel tariffs backfiring with Harley Davidson laying off people and shifting some production to Europe. And best part is, the losers who are losing their jobs probably voted for him! Lololololololol! That’s called karma, bitch!

Let me tell you one thing: You have never known pain in your life until you suffer a papercut on your glans pen**.

I have a habit of taking advantage of my hot older sister for sex when she's under stress. We've been going at it for years, consensually, so it's not like we're strangers to each other's bodies, but, I do seem to enjoy jumping on the situation (and her) when she's stressed out.

Last week, her daughter moved in with a guy. On the outside, we're all supportive, but privately..We all have our reservations, including my hot sister. As the moving date drew near, I stopped by her house to talk, saw how not good with this she really was, and started massaging her bare shoulders and lifting her tank top up and off, to her closed-eyed relaxation. Caressing her marvelous 36C's was next, and met with equal relaxation and sighs.

Having her in that position and relaxed from stress state, her shorts were next to go, then thong undies, and taking her upstairs to finish the deal. A few times, actually. When I left, she thanked me for stopping over and making her feel better. As this moving in thing with her daughter proceeds, I'm certain of more stressed hot sister stop-ins and wide-open sex.

Part of me hopes it goes well for the new couple roomates, but part of me doesn't...The more stressed my hot sister gets, the more I'll easily have at her.

I accidentally called someone's kid ugly. My husband's family.. his first cousin's son. Sometimes when I'm feeling a bit pissy to help relieve myself I "type" comments under people's posts on Facebook but before I enter them I backspace them instead. This time I accidentally pressed enter after telling his cousin that I always thought her kid was kind of ugly. I KNOW I'M A MONSTER LOL. I was mortified and I instantly deleted the comment and then deleted the few family members off my Facebook. I will never type fake comments again.

One year ago my wife was 55 but still had a smoking hot sexy body. One year later she is 56 and her body looks like a bag of wet noodles.

Im a 50 year old married mother of three, and ive had a crush on my nephew for years and years, my brothers son who is 30 years old. I cant stop thinking about him.

spiders ate myexgirlfriend

Whatthe fuc* is going on guys? Jesus Christ that’s messed up

They fuc*** ate her. Fuc*** spiders p

I was molested as a child. When I was 11 years old my best friend's 55 yr old dad molested me. We were neighbors . The first time it happened I went to her house to visit her and he tricked me into thinking she was in her bedroom. When I got to her bedroom she was not there and when I turned to leave he was standing in her doorway. He grabbed my breasts and started to fondle me and attempted to tongue kiss me. I was so frightened, my whole body was trembling. I felt so violated and disgusted. He told me that if I told anyone what he had done that he would tell my mother that he caught me having sex with his 16 year old son! Even though I knew it wasn't true I was terrified that he would tell my mom such a lie & I'd get into trouble for nothing. Time went on and several other incidents occurred. He would creep to my house after school because he knew I'd be alone and he would pretend that my mother sent him to fix an appliance that had stopped working. He would force his way in! Once in the house he would try to drag me to my bedroom, pull my clothes off and try to force me to have sex with him. He told me that I belonged to him and he was going to pop my cherry. He said that if anyone was going to get my pus** for the first time that it was going to be him. One time he tried to make me kiss his pen** & I bit him & ran out of my house! I ran to my neighbor's house in tears and told another friend what happened. She told her mom and her mom said that I needed to let my mom know what was going on. Around 2a.m. the night before I planned to tell mom everything, I heard a scuffle at our back door. I creeped down the hall in the darkness to see what was going on and I saw HIM enter into our back door. He was in my house! I thought to myself "Oh my God he has come to rape me while my family is asleep!" He walked towards my mother's bedroom and tapped on the door. The door opened and she let him in. I was so confused and did'nt know what was going on at that moment. I moved closer to the door and listened for their voices to hear what they were talking about at 2 a.m. in the morning. After a few minutes I heard lots of moans and groans!!! Wtf!? Welp there goes that plan... I thought, there's no way she's going to believe me now! she's sleeping with the enemy. I stepped back into the darkness into the living room and hid until after he left and I confronted her. I was so upset! He was my best friend's dad and my mom & her mom were best friends. I couldn't believe she would stoop so low! Of course she denied it all and said that he was never there but she didn't know I saw him enter and I saw him leave. So it turned out that this actually worked in my favor. The next time he tried to touch me I told him what I knew and told him if he ever touched me again I would tell his wife that he was having sex with my mom! He tested me and I let the cat out of the bag! Long story short my best friend's mom confronted my mom and tried to fight her. My mom denied everything and accused me of being a liar. She tried to say that I was imagining things and that it never happened. My friend's mom believed her and questioned me about the truth of it all. I wanted to tell her everything but I just didn't have the courage and I was so afraid. She decided to stay with her husband and he continued to creep to our house nightly for sessions with my mother until he was finally stationed to another state and we didn't see them again. Today I am 37 years old and now have a family of my own. I prayed for sons & never wanted a daughter because I did not want her to experience anything like I did. I teach my children to be aware of people, even family members, and to always tell me and my husband anything that happens or is going on! I make sure they know they will never get in trouble for something that an adult did to them!

Oops I’ve gone and impregnated myself again. Welp, off to the abortion clinic tomorrow!

Should I tell his wife? I can't find her online. Should I go through the kids? Yes I am that evil!

Can't hide it anymore, I LOVE fat women. The bigger the better. Puberty held no secrets from me, I knew what I liked from day one. Something about how they look and the way they're shaped is so damn appealing. And it's not enough for a girl to have a potbelly, the whole woman must be large, big chest, belly, hips, thighs, butt, the whole deal. Just hearing the ground thump and shake under their feet as they waddle, or watching the way their limbs & bellies jiggle is enough to turn my bones into jelly.

Look, I dont treat women as sex objects, I never date if its someone I dont want to lovingly spend the rest of my life with, I dont go around fattening people up or advocating gaining weight, I'm well aware obesity poses health issues. It's just, my desire for a girl with meat on her bones is too strong to ignore, and worser still, living in an anti-fat world is a burden all on its own.

I've been dealing with this guy for years now. I found out he slept with my younger sister a few years back. One day I ran into his brother who we just attractive as him and I slept with him on several occasions out of revenge mostly.Skip a few years forward the exact and I rekindled I confessed and we put it past us. Then I in a relationship and broke his heart so come to find out he slept with my sister again. This time was much worse as at first he didn't know her but this time he knew. Now I'm wanting to look his brother up and sleep with him again.

At 18 and being a boy back in the early 60's ment watching who you dated. Some of my friends slipped around and dated black girls, some white girls slipped around and dated black boys. I slipped around and got dic*ed by another 18 year old black boy, we did it lots of times but had to be very carfull, although there were a few times it was close.

I’m turning my country farm house property I inherited out by the bayou into a real life Dungeons and Dragons set up.

For the dungeon, I have a large basement I have turned into a well, I put some chains and shut in there.

For the dragon, I have some gators

I don’t have any armor, but I do have an old rusty machete that can be used like a sword.

I’m running an online casting call for 4-6 D&D Live Action role Players who are interested in a cross combo with a “Escape Room”

Basically my plan is get everyone dressed in period authentic clothing - I’ve got some from when i did Ren Faire and also have some old prom dresses from my sister? Which kinda work - was thinking I want them all to wear onlythe authentic period clothing so no underwear or anything like that, but not sure how to get that done smoothly

Also not sure how to
Get girls to signup for this shit but I figure there needs to be at least 1 girl for every guy so I was thinking of hiring a girl as a “baby sitter” and then just kinda convincing her it’s worth going along with this “fun escape room” thing for fun!? Willthis work?

Then take everyone’s phones and wallets and all that fake ass technology shit - and give everyone their allotment of Wine, so like, a pouch of wine from store I can make part of the price - about equal to 6-7 glasses of wine

Then lock them all up in the “dungeon “ that they have to escape from with only the old machete and also a few home made torches soaked in gasoline, and a bit of flint and tinder - so that they have to light the torches themselves

Will also put the baby gators in the basement ahead of time, alone with a few snakes I’ve caught down by the Bayou

Basement is already full of rats and rat shit - I tried cleaning it out last year, but frankly it’s hot as hell down in there and the wasps nests and spiders were getting to me

I’m figuring lock them up on a Friday night and leave

Then come back sunday afternoon to see if they’ve gotten out?

I’m betting this gig will make stupid money. Loads of dumb D&D kids will sign up !

Plus it’s end of the school year so I’m thinking now that Schools getting out the Nerdy Game of thrones type kids will dig the hell out of it!

I’m thinking let the first group go down for the weekend “for free” as a promotional deal

Then charge everyone else $200 a head for the game

Tell me you guys agree this is not the awesomest shit you’ve ever heard of all day !!

I would have absolutely for sure 100% done this if I’d had the chance as a teenager

Look you guys can laugh at me if you want - but this is a legitimate serious business idea

I’ve got all
The shit I need to
Be able to make this work - all I need is a little bit of positive response to convince me this is a gold mine of an idea!

There is a girl that lives in my apartment building. She is absolutely smoking hot. 5'6" brunette with long flowing hair. She's 25 years old with a great sense in clothes.

I asked her out a couple of times and she shot me down, the second time quite rudely. She doesn't think i look good enough for her from what she told me the second time.

I've left her alone ever since the second rejection even though she has tried to talk to me when we meet in the hallway, stairs or something like that.

This morning when I came home from work working the graveyard shift i pulled into the parking lot and parked my car. I got out and sitting on the ground of the parking lot was this black leather women's purse. No car next to it so it was laying all by itself. I went over to investigate and determined that it belonged to "Lori" the girl I'm talking about. The purse was full of all her stuff so nobody else had gotten into it to rob her yet. Her Jeep Liberty wasn't in the parking lot so she was there. So I picked up her purse and took it to my apartment without anyone seeing me.

i got inside and after a few minutes curiosity and noisyness got the best of me so i started to dig through her purse to see what was inside. As i started going through her stuff i started to get a hard on, for some reason going through this girl's shit, invading her privacy and looking at it and learning about her turned me on. I was going through her wallet looking at her drivers license picture which was a hot one by the way. Seeing her credit cards, debit card, cash and everything else got me worked up that I laid down the wallet on the side of her purse with the wallet still open so i could see her drivers license photo. I then proceeded to whip it out and started jacking off on it. In no time at all i cummed all over the inside of her wallet and on the side of her purse. Damn that was a lot of fun. Especially seeing everything inside her wallet with gobs of cum on it, especially her license pic.

I cleaned up the mess i made and put stuff back in her purse but after a little bit i get the urge to do it again. I grab the purse off the table, take it to the bathroom and jack off on it. The last time i didn't even wipe her purse off after i was done. I don't know if it's the invasion of her privacy, knowing im cumming on some bitch's expensive Marc Jacobs purse and everything of value inside. Knowing she would freak out if she knew what someone was doing to her purse, or the fact that she lost her purse and was probably panicking because of that that every time I think about it i end up jacking off on Lori's stuff. I have done it 3 times today to her purse.

A little bit into the afternoon Lori came home. I saw her jeep pull in. The way she was dressed she must have participated in the nearby Marathon today. A little while later i hear her in the hallway knocking on doors. I listened and she was asking if anyone had seen her purse. From what i could tell no one saw me with it. Eventually she knocked on my door to ask me if I had seen anyone with a black leather purse or had seen one as she had laid it down while loading her car this morning and forgot to pick it up when she left. I have her purse sitting in the bathroom with cum all over it, so what do I do. I proceed to tell her i haven't seen it. She asks if I do come across it to please let her know and then leaves. She doesn't seem to suspect a thing. Time will tell i guess.

Later on tonight im going to jack off on her purse and stuff again. Its weird im getting such a thrill doing this to her stuff.

I worked on the floor at a furniture store. This man came in, said his wife had died and he wanted a new look. I sold him furniture he doesn't need, we referred him to an interior design firm that remodeled his house.
He didn't need anything, he had a lovely home, much better furniture than the stuff I sold him, he maybe just needed someone to help him rearrange his home.
What I did, pushed by my sales managers, what we did by sending him to the design firm was horrible. He was ripped off. I regret not telling him to walk out, leave, all I saw was my commissions. It is the worst money I ever made, I spent it I can't even give it to charity.