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i have a fart fetish i love when girl girl girl girl lol fart on my face

I can have any woman I want. I’m 6-foot-5, lithe, and have model looks. Also I am rich. Yet no woman can compare to my own hand.

video games and masturbation all day? why is it wrong?

why does everyone assume I smoke weed?

I hope I get the opportunity to sodomize a man with a big black dong for breaking into my house someday. And I hope I can beat him with that big black dong first. I also want a pet possum with the name Rat Bastard for a guard possum to watch over my house just in case anybody tries to break in. Because a lot of people fear possums and I'm pretty sure they'll run away in sure terror. I would trade my pet possum to attack people.

I can’t stop picking my nose! I love it! I purposely keep the air dry in my house so I can clean out the nostrils as much as possible. The feeling of digging in and breaking free dried snot from the nasal wall is spectacular! I’d rank it ahead of sex but behind defecation.

Nosepick!

My neighbor on my floor in my low income apartment is such a stupid cun* because she's because she keeps complaining about how someone narced on her for not taking her trash out. She doesn't like to take her trash out and then it start smelling really bad like rancid butthole. I'm sorry but she has no reason to complain because she's the one who is at fault here and she just plain lazy and disgusting. I hope they kick her out of here for being a lazy and a disgusting neighbor. Cuz I'm the one that told on her. And I'll keep reporting her. Because I hate having Neighbors. :middle_finger:??:middle_finger: :joy::rofl::joy::rofl::joy:

sockless ste**... you here?

https://www.youtube.com/w.../

is it ok if I hired a male private swimming tutor for my 13 year old daughter? the guy is a 26 year old grad student in kinesiology and was a competetive swimmer in college, and went to college on a swimming scholarship. Hes Very cute...should I be worried about anything?

To every man out there who has a big pen**, I envy you. I envy you in unfathomable ways. I'd trade it all: money, family, even soul, to have the ability to look down and see a nice long girthy tool to be proud of. Instead, every morning I stare down at utter disappointment, a complete failure and flaw of a man. And I know what you're all going to say, "Oh, it doesn't matter if the woman loves you for you." What if I'm not looking for love but lovin' right now? What type of satisfaction can I ever bring to the table? Sure I can be a master at oral or foreplay but that will only go so far. She'll miss the feeling of the guy who was the g-spot hitter, or the guy that gave her that "filled up" sensation. She'll miss the thrill and slight fear of seeing a formidable pen** after the unveiling. She'll miss all the positions that are accessible with an endowed man. I can't even build a long lasting relationship if I wanted to because I'd feel sorry for denying her all those missed pleasures she'll never have with me. Holy f*ck, Im useless.

The horse ejaculated on my face!

:horse::sweat_drops:

just to be clear: everything I have ever said on here is pure fiction and a lie. none of it is true. its all made up stories and is just fictious fantasy.

ive never done anything close to what Ive written about. Ive never even imagined doing it. I just making up silly stories that have no relation to truth or real life

I just wanted that to be 100% clear. none of this is serious. nothing is real. this is all just a fictious story that i made up. and it was a not very good story

The best shits are the full, large ones. The ones that stretch your sphincter well but at the same time aren’t uncomfortable. The ones that tail off without leaving lefotver shit in the bowel. The ones that stink. Those are the best shits.

I sodomized myself with a cigar

Johnny got stinking shit all over his choda after wiping his ass from back to front.

Abort!

I'm off for abortion. brb

I purposely sat on my hand for an hour and made it fall asleep. Then I took the limp appendage and beat my meat with it. My coc* felt it but my hand didn't.

It's called "the stranger".

I like boobs. That is all.

I love slumming with this disgusting website! Every morning at work I need to take a crap around 9 am so I bring my phone into the bathroom and read these hideous posts while I shit. It’s very fitting, and gives me my fill of filth for the day!

Rot in hell, freaks!

I called the windows scammers back and asked them how much longer did I have to keep looking out my window cuz all the trees are the way and I only seen a few cars and 2 people walk past. I asked "so when are you calling back I have been looking out my window for the last hour and I have things to do, I am disabled and mentally imparted but if you call back soon or I have to leave to go to the shop!"