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i'm 33 now, i guess fairly happy, i'm a mom, and my profession offers a decent working environment. i have been
'attached' to a man since i was 23, right after i got out of school at my first job. he is my daughter's dad, and really he supports us. my relationship with him is half dad and half husband. i don't live with him, but this is his home and his bed. i have never been intimate with another man, and i don't want to. in my life he is my husband and i am wife to him.

i do wish i was married, legally. he recognized our daughter, so there is no question there and he is very responsible with his financial obligations to us, but i would like to be married and say i am his wife. we didn't get married when i was younger because i didn't want to be married to a man who so much older than me, and now i regret that. now we just live the way we do. he turned 67 this year.

i want to be married and have another baby. i am going to tell him.

filthy lying nig***

wow, we have a new secretary at work and she is black and super sexy. i would love to nail her. i saw her checking me out. i know that smile. i have to be careful, very careful, but i must have her. this is going to be so much fun!

i'm so sick of this person who has to bring god into every confession on this site.
god will forgive you,
god will bring you home,
trust in god...
are you trying to piss people off, or depress them further?
cause you're sure as hell not helping.

my wife clearly wants to have an affair with our mutual friend sam. i've actually joked before that if i were to get killed he should be my successor... i think my wife basically openly knows i'm ok with her having an affair with him

separately, though i'd like to have an affair with either sam's current girlfriend who lives out of state or the woman who is his boss who is recently divorced from an older man

but then i also happen to know that my wife's best friend from work is getting a divorce - and she very clearly would like to have an affair with me

meanwhile on the side i've also been sexting with my ex girlfriend from college from back in 2000 and she and i have already met up last month at a hotel out of town to start an affair

also i've been hooking up with random women i meet at hotel bars when i'm out of town on business and i get drunk at whatever hotel bar i'm at - this has happened three different times with three different women in the past year.

of the 3 women i've slept with from hote bars the past year: one was an engineer chick about 3 years younger than me, who also had a spouse and 2 kids like me. another was an accountant chick who is 5 years younger than me, she is married and also has 2 kids. the other was a college girl who was a senior finishing her teaching degree - not married and no kids yet - but she wanted some.

also last summer an old friend from college died and another friend of mine and i drove up for his funeral - while we were there we met two other women we had been mutual friends with back in college - one of them, jenny, was my
old second college girlfriends roommate from back in the day, and she clearly wanted to hook up wth me - and more or less told me to come visit her

fuc*ing crazy thing was there was these other two girls at the funeral - one finishing law school named rachel who was fine as hell who wanted to hook up after she got drunk at the funeral after party - she used to date another mutual friend of ours who moved out west to arizona then san fran and never came back

not sure why funerals made all these girls so horny

i mean: i'll be honest, i've been working out a lot the past 3 years, eating right, lifting weights, going to the gym obsessively and i'm lean and fit and in the best shape of my life a better than my best days of college

and even though i'm in my late 30s now - i'm better lookin and have much more professional success - and ahem money too - so i guess im just a lot more confident?

i think i have more confidence now plus i just look way better than i did in college? and i'm not desperate for women so i can just fuc* around and be coc*y and see what it gets me?

i'm just saying i've never in my life had so much opportunity for action with women

ok, sure single girls in their early thirties at a funeral for an old college friend are going to be pretty vulnerable and probably hearing a ticking clock

and my wife's friend going through a divorce - i think she's 40 - clearly middle age makes women desperate

hell there is a fine ass looking family friend of my wife who was her youngest bridesmaid when we got married and is now like 25 and wants to move to texas and she's always making a point to tell me that my two year old daughter gives her the baby fever like nothing else

i've just never in my
life had so many opportunities for so many affairs with so many women

it's really hard for me to know what to do

i don't want to lose my marriage and custody of my child - but if my wife is ok having an affair with sam - why wouldn't she let me have affairs with all these other girls?

that sounds fair right?

i'm tired of being at the bottom of everyone's list. tired of wanting things to be easier. tired of being so poor we have to live with my parents. tired of seeing something i want and knowing it is so far out of my reach it is impossible. tired of feeling selfish because i want something for myself. i'm tired of taking care of everyone else every hour of every day.

i'm going to live in the woods for a while. it's time

i asked my hairdresser if she wanted to come with me. she's 20. college drop out. cute girl. grew up with hippie parents. i was friends with her high school english teacher

i quit my job at an energy company. big layoffs. severance package. 6 months salary. i have some savings. retirement and 401k. i go to the gym all the time. crossfit. i love camping

'm 42 but am in better shape than when i was when i was 35, hell maybe 25.

i keep my finances clean. i keep my debts low. car paid off. cash in hand

but i have another job lined up for late september.

my ex wife hate she all of this

when i was little and being potty trained... flushing the toilet used to scare me. i thought that it would let the monsters come up through the toilet. and after i started getting in trouble for not flushing, i used to close the lid, stand on it, and flush, stay there til the toilet stopped making noise...

looking back on it now, if some toilet monster were to have come out, how the hell did i believe my 46lb body would be too heavy for him to lift up?

get a clue. he doesn't want you, you're ugly.

when i was around 10 years old i got busted when i hid under my parent's bed to listen to them having sex. i thought the bed was going to collapse on me because my dad was laying it down so rough. i panicked and slid out and tried to crawl out the room and my dad saw me. he was so pissed and yelling "wtf are you doing!" i never forgot that embarrassment.

im so bad with money... i wonder if ill ever get out of debt. i think the only way is to win the lottery... and that wont ever happen.

my 12 year old had a party and one friend couldn't make it and stopped by today with his mom. they brought over his present and said they got him an extra special present because he was also very generous at christmas time with donating his own money to help the poor. they bought him those new beats head phones. wtf! those are like $180. that's insane. i hope she doesn't expect us to buy her kid something expensive like that when his birthday rolls around. i just can't afford to buy other children a gift that is that expensive.

last night i did it again. i can not control the urge. i wait and wait trying to keep myself from doing it, i read, watch tv, anything to get my mind off of it, but in the end i went out again last night looking for a man. i met him at the shell station by the college, he was middle eastern, i offered and we went into the restroom where i sucked him off. i couldn't make him cum, so he fucked me in the ass. my ass hurts right now, it is sore when i touch it. it feels so good, the burn when i squeeze my asshole shut. i would never offer to get fucked, but when it happens like last night it, that is better than sucking him off.

i will be ok again for a few days, but only a few days.

just crawling through life, no meaning or memories. been on the receiving end of men and their wants. nothing for me. i tripped across a man much older than me and like the others he used me for himself. except this time he did something to me. once he had me i couldn't get away, in my mind i tried to figure out how to get away, i knew where i was going to end up and no matter what i did i was not going to get away. i didn't get away and he used me hard and when he was done i would not, really i could not, get up i stayed with him by his side, until he reached over and pulled me him and again i could not get away even if i tried. held tight i finally fell asleep. he used me the next day and the next after that and i did not leave until i just said fuck it to myself and said it is all yours, have it, it belongs to you, and just gave up an let him have what ever he wants. it has been a week now and i am still here with him, and he presses into me and i just take as much as i can and wait patiently afterwards for him to grab me and pull me tight to him and i fall asleep.

i have never felt this way before and don't know really what i feel or how to describe it. all i know is that i am still here and i won't leave on my own. i don't want to leave. i want him to know that he has what he wants as much as he wants whenever he wants. that is what i want him to know. that is what i want right now.

how long will it be before tiger woods pulls an o.j. simpson on his new toehead celebrity girlfriend? it's only a matter of time before he loses it again.

it’s been twelve years since the “flirting incident” where we both told the truth. we have never spoken about it since, but i think we both still feel the same way. i can tell by the way you hug me. and yeah the situation is pretty much impossible for us to do anything about it, although, if the opportunity presented itself i probably would. i just wonder if you ever think about it like i do and imagine what it would be like if we allowed it to happen.

i am certain that my wife has slept with at least one other person. there could be more, but i have 2 specific guys in mind. she had told me she wanted to screw both of them. i think she may have. i just wish she'd tell me because i'm ok with it. i know she's slept with a lot of guys before we got together so it is reasonable for me to think she has continued. i'd like for her to start dating, actually. the thought turns me on so much!

and to think, i thought we were getting better. i thought things in general would be better for us until the baby came. he was great for a week after we found out. now he's being selfish. saying he's no longer one of my priorities.. how sad is it that he's jealous of a baby.. his own baby.. and all i'm trying to do is keep the baby safe and growing. its my first trimester and i've had a miscarriage before.. all i'm trying to do is prevent any harm that may come to the baby. why can't he see that..

two girls and i were talking during break and the stupidist thing came up. when did we see our first penis.

of course, the first penis i saw was my father's, but i did not pay attention to it. the second penis i saw was my little brother's, but cute little wewe's don't count. the first real honest to god penis i saw was in highschool after a football game. we were in the car in front of my house we had been making out and he unzipped his pants and took it out. and he said suck me, and i did, i went down on him and he told me what to do and i gave my first blow job. that was my first true real honest to god penis.

when did you see your first penis, real honest to god penis?

i suspect my crush is gay. this may sound very egoistic but what (single!) man in their right mind would ever refuse an invite to a semi-innocent cup of coffee with a hot chick like me?

i'm not the type who goes around asking people for coffee, i couldn't help it i was too intrigued i had to ask him out and he said no. it wasn't even a proper coffee, he was freaking watching a video in the lib with his pal and the 'coffee' referred to the vending machine downstairs.

safe to say he screwed it for all the shy guys that'll come after him. i'll think over a zillion times before i do something like that again!